The Road To My Future

I graduated college in New Jersey in 2003 with a B.A., Arts and Communication, but I decided to become a teacher.  I had to go back to school for courses in early childhood  education.  My first really good teaching job was for Head Start in Plainfield, New Jersey.  When my student teaching and mentoring was complete, I couldn’t submit the paperwork to actually receive my teaching certification because my mentor wouldn’t sign the documents.  I don’t know why.

I left and went to Catholic Charities.  I had to do the whole mentoring program over again, but that was okay because I wanted to become a teacher.  After two months of work, I was fired.  When I asked why, they told me because they didn’t have to keep me.  Okay?  What about my teaching certification?  I guess they didn’t care.

Now, I’m in a different state.  I’m also fifteen years older, and starting from scratch, but my goal is still the same.  I’m going to become a teacher.  I’m going to obtain a professional teaching certification.  I want to be a teacher.

This seems like a silly question, but I have to ask it.

Is it okay to have a pissed off look on your face?

If you can’t answer this question immediately, then there’s a problem.  Is this how petty things have gotten?  A pissed off look?  Who’s judging the look?

I used to know a guy who never talked.  He was always quiet, and he kept to himself.  He looked miserable.  One day I spoke to him, and I learned he wasn’t miserable.  He was actually a pretty nice guy.  He just had a pissed off look on his face.  Hey, that’s how he looked.

I would never jump to conclusions and assume something about someone before actually speaking to that person, but believe me, there are a lot of people out here who would.  That’s not fair.

The road to my future is one that will be somewhat familiar.  The only difference is fifteen years ago I was able to work as a teacher while training to become one.  Now, I have to become a certified teacher first, then seek employment.

Most people would ask why I need to write about or talk about my plans, they would further suggest, just do it.

The reason why I write and talk about my plans is because sometimes I feel the push-back when making decisions, and I don’t know where it comes from.

When you make your mind up to do certain things, you do them, and it feels good and right doing those things because that’s what you want to do.

Other times, you make a decision to do something, and you do it, but it doesn’t feel right.  I don’t know why this happens, and truthfully, it used to bother me because i felt unsupported.

You would think if a person decides to do good things with their life and time, they would be supported and encouraged.  I mean you hope right?

Well, someone told me a while ago, “It’s not you.  Believe me.”  True.