Emotional Manipulation

Okay, so I was going to put a little time between “Tormenting Beverly,” and my next post, primarily because I wanted to establish some type of sequel, but then I found an article that was way to important to pass up on.

Before I get into what the article talks about, I’m going to digress for a moment, however, it’s not a total digression because the two things I’m about to say are in some way related.

David Icke is somebody I’m starting to have more of an appreciation for because of his back story about getting bullied and made fun of. According to Icke, he was stuck in a perceptual prison-imprisoned by the thoughts other people had of him. I understand that-where you feel like you’re the topic of everyone’s conversation-good or bad. These people could be having a conversation with one another as you pass them on the street or in a store, or perhaps, you’re sitting in a restaurant eating, while they sit at a table nearby. I haven’t figured out how or why that happens, or how to get out of it, but he apparently did.

Alex Jones; I love his show, and I love the information he passes along. He has done an incredible job exploiting the main stream media and anyone else attempting to lie and manipulate the masses. What truly impresses me about him is how good he has gotten at making complicated and intricate issues involving deep deceit understandable. He has found a way to bring high level manipulation down to a level the average person can understand. (For example; the government must at all costs make us believe in the pandemic emergency, otherwise it would be extremely difficult for them to get away with and justify their violation of our constitutional rights.)

Okay, moving forward to the article.

businessinsider.com

Article written by Travis Bradberry, and published December 7, 2016.

Pulling out the main points here; Without the peoples consent, Facebook teamed up with researchers from Cornell and the University of California, and conducted an experiment where they intentionally played with the emotions of 689,000 users by manipulating their feeds so that they only saw negative stories while others saw positive stories.

This article is really about emotional and mental manipulation and how skilled manipulators could destroy your self-esteem and have you questioning your sanity. This is a serious issue.

Lucky for us, this article has outlined 9 signs for us to look for that will help us identify an emotional manipulator.

  1. They undermine your faith in your grasp of reality-emotional manipulators are incredibly skilled liars. They insist something didn’t happen when it did, and they insist they said or did something when they didn’t. (Call these motherfuckers out right away)
  2. Their actions don’t match their words-emotional manipulators will tell you what you want to hear, but their actions are another story. They pledge their support, but when it comes time to follow through, they act as though your requests are entirely unreasonable. They tell you how lucky they are to know you, but then act as if you’re a burden. This is just another way of undermining you sanity.
  3. They’re experts at doling out guilt-emotional manipulators are masters at leveraging your guilt to their advantage. If you bring up something that’s bothering you, they make you feel guilty for bringing it up. If you don’t say anything, they make you feel guilty for keeping it to yourself. Whatever you do is wrong.
  4. They claim the role of the victim– when it comes to emotional manipulators nothing is ever their fault. No matter what they do or fail to do, it’s someone else’s fault. Someone else made them do it, and usually, it’s you.
  5. They are too much, too soon-weather it’s a personal relationship or a business relationship, emotional manipulators always seem to skip a few steps. They share too much too soon-and expect the same from you. They portray vulnerability and sensitivity, but it’s a ruse. The charade is intended to make you feel “special” for being let into their inner circle, but it’s not only intended to make you feel sorry for them, but responsible for their feelings.
  6. They’re an emotional black hole-whatever emotional manipulators are feeling, they’re geniuses at sucking everyone around them into those emotions. If they’re in a bad mood everyone around them knows it, but the worst part, they’re so skilled, everyone around them feels their mood as well.
  7. They eagerly agree to help-and maybe even volunteer, acting like a martyr-an initial eagerness to help swiftly morphs into sighs, groans, and suggestions that whatever they agreed to do is now a huge burden. And, if you shine a spotlight on that reluctance, they’ll turn it around on you, assuring you that, of course, they want to help and that you’re just being paranoid. The goal? To make you feel guilty, indebted, and crazy. (This is sort of what I was referring to when I was talking about Alex Jones. When you recognize the manipulation, call it out, and they make you seem crazy when you’re totally sane and know what you’re talking about.)
  8. They always one-up you-No matter what problems you have, emotional manipulators always have it worse. They undermine the legitimacy of your complaints by reminding you their problems are more serious.
  9. They know all your buttons and don’t hesitate to push them-emotional manipulators know your weak spots, and they’re quick to use that knowledge against you. If you’re insecure about your weight, they comment on what you eat and how your clothes fit; if you’re worried about an upcoming presentation they point out how intimidating and judgmental the attendees are. Their awareness of your emotions is off the chart, but they don’t use that knowledge to help you, they use it to manipulate you.

That’s it! Those are the 9 signs to look for in someone you suspect is emotionally or mentally manipulating you. If I was you I’d read this article in its entirety. At the end, it tells you how to defeat them.

Emotional manipulators drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Their behavior goes against reason.

Alright everyone. I had to get this information out to you as it is definitely in my wheelhouse. Have a great night.

Breaking Patterns That Break You Down

If someone keeps telling you you’re wrong, eventually, you’re going to believe you’re wrong. If someone keeps telling you you have an attitude problem, you’re going to believe you have an attitude problem. If someone keeps telling you things about you that aren’t true, you’re going to believe them even if they’re not true. It’s conditioning, and the sad part about “conditioning” of this type is that you might not believe what these people are saying about you or to you at the moment, but overtime, these comments will wear you down. Over time, they’ll break you down. Over time you’ll lose confidence in yourself, and you’ll become a timid-hesitant person.

Why?

No one wants to be wrong. No one wants to be known as the person with the attitude. You don’t want to be perceived as the trouble maker, the bully, or the person who’s always arguing.

So you change yourself to compensate for people that are really the problem.

It’s like the husband or wife who hits their partner and says, “See, look what you made me do.”

People need to take responsibility for their own actions.

Today I walked into a store to purchase a few items. I had earbuds in and a hood on. The cashier rang up my items, and then when it was time to pay, I inserted my card into the reader. Well, he made a mistake and needed me to take my card out so he could start the transaction over. During that process, he got an attitude with me and was kind of rude. He was upset because he couldn’t get my attention immediately, and I told him he needed to talk to his customers with a little more respect.

My mother, who drove me there, tells me in the car I have a problem, and I’m always arguing. She continues to tell me that if I didn’t have a hood on or earbuds in that that wouldn’t have happened.

It doesn’t matter if I had a hood on, sunglasses on, a hat on, earbuds in, and a scarf around my face, if the cashier couldn’t get my attention immediately he should’ve been patient. Eventually, probably within seconds, I would’ve taken my earbud out and looked up wondering why the transaction didn’t go through

There’s right and wrong behavior, and we all know when we’re in the right, and when we’re in the wrong. Don’t let people tell you you’re the problem because chances are it’s the person who’s telling you that that really has the problem.

How do we break patterns that break us down? By becoming aware of them, and learning from the situations in which they occur.

Eventually, you’ll learn not to go to those people who are always putting you down or telling you have a problem. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re behavior is 99% justified because your behavior is the response to people who are either mistreating you, or abusing you.

Now, check this out. Certain people command respect. It’s their personality. It’s the energy they put out. Even if you’re having a bad day, you’ll still treat these people with respect.

Why are you different? Because somewhere along the line you’ve become timid and hesitant. At some point, you lost your confidence and you no longer put the energy out there that commands respect. You’ve become a pushover, and that’s how people treat you.

The road back to confidence starts with you complaining a lot. Every time you encounter a situation where you’re mistreated, you’ll complain, and eventually, people will say you have a problem. You’ll learn though. You’ll learn how to swiftly respond to someone who mistreats you for no other reason than they’re having a bad day. When you reach that point you’ll stop complaining.