If someone keeps telling you you’re wrong, eventually, you’re going to believe you’re wrong. If someone keeps telling you you have an attitude problem, you’re going to believe you have an attitude problem. If someone keeps telling you things about you that aren’t true, you’re going to believe them even if they’re not true. It’s conditioning, and the sad part about “conditioning” of this type is that you might not believe what these people are saying about you or to you at the moment, but overtime, these comments will wear you down. Over time, they’ll break you down. Over time you’ll lose confidence in yourself, and you’ll become a timid-hesitant person.
No one wants to be wrong. No one wants to be known as the person with the attitude. You don’t want to be perceived as the trouble maker, the bully, or the person who’s always arguing.
So you change yourself to compensate for people that are really the problem.
It’s like the husband or wife who hits their partner and says, “See, look what you made me do.”
People need to take responsibility for their own actions.
Today I walked into a store to purchase a few items. I had earbuds in and a hood on. The cashier rang up my items, and then when it was time to pay, I inserted my card into the reader. Well, he made a mistake and needed me to take my card out so he could start the transaction over. During that process, he got an attitude with me and was kind of rude. He was upset because he couldn’t get my attention immediately, and I told him he needed to talk to his customers with a little more respect.
My mother, who drove me there, tells me in the car I have a problem, and I’m always arguing. She continues to tell me that if I didn’t have a hood on or earbuds in that that wouldn’t have happened.
It doesn’t matter if I had a hood on, sunglasses on, a hat on, earbuds in, and a scarf around my face, if the cashier couldn’t get my attention immediately he should’ve been patient. Eventually, probably within seconds, I would’ve taken my earbud out and looked up wondering why the transaction didn’t go through
There’s right and wrong behavior, and we all know when we’re in the right, and when we’re in the wrong. Don’t let people tell you you’re the problem because chances are it’s the person who’s telling you that that really has the problem.
How do we break patterns that break us down? By becoming aware of them, and learning from the situations in which they occur.
Eventually, you’ll learn not to go to those people who are always putting you down or telling you have a problem. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re behavior is 99% justified because your behavior is the response to people who are either mistreating you, or abusing you.
Now, check this out. Certain people command respect. It’s their personality. It’s the energy they put out. Even if you’re having a bad day, you’ll still treat these people with respect.
Why are you different? Because somewhere along the line you’ve become timid and hesitant. At some point, you lost your confidence and you no longer put the energy out there that commands respect. You’ve become a pushover, and that’s how people treat you.
The road back to confidence starts with you complaining a lot. Every time you encounter a situation where you’re mistreated, you’ll complain, and eventually, people will say you have a problem. You’ll learn though. You’ll learn how to swiftly respond to someone who mistreats you for no other reason than they’re having a bad day. When you reach that point you’ll stop complaining.