The Upright, the Enemy, and the Other

People who are stand up, up-right, tell the truth, self-aware, and living in the moment, will always be a natural enemy of someone who’s deceitful and manipulative. And unfortunately, that enemy will never confront the up-right; everything the enemy does will be behind the back, in the dark, in secret, tattle-tail-sneaky, and immature.

This will drive the upright crazy, especially if he gives too much attention to what the enemy is doing, but sometimes, the upright doesn’t have a choice. At some point, he must focus on and address what the enemy is doing and how the enemy’s behavior is affecting him.

The upright is non-confrontational, but when it’s necessary, he can be a fierce defender. He would rather not confront the enemy because the enemy doesn’t make sense to him. In the eyes and mind of the upright, the enemy is petty, immature, and hypocritical. The enemy doesn’t make sense to the upright, but because the enemy is passive aggressively and nonchalantly attacking the upright, the upright must find a way to defend himself.

The upright knows exactly what’s going to happen if he confronts the enemy. The enemy is going to lie, deny, and refuse to take responsibility. This will anger the upright even more, and the upright will suddenly appear to be the bad-guy.

What we have here is an accurate portrait of abuse, it’s the kind of abuse you’ll see from someone who’s mentally abusive.

No one sees what the enemy is doing to you, and that’s exactly the situation the enemy wants you in. Everything the enemy does, which is a direct attack on the upright, is subtle, indirect, and questionable.

So, the upright questions himself; is he really attacking me? Is he really talking about me behind my back? Is he really making up lies about me. Is he really rallying a small group of followers behind my back who entertain him and agree with everything he says?

This person is no good, how come no one sees it? He’s creating a sub-group and alienating me, what am I going to do?

Yes. The answer is yes, and finally, the upright kicks the door in and unleashes. And because it was the upright who ultimately made a scene, the upright is now wrong in the eyes of his peers.

Wrong in the eyes of his peers? Think about that? Is he really wrong though?

“Woah, woah, calm down,” everyone says. “You’re out of control man, are you having a bad day,” they ask condescendingly.

The upright gives everyone the middle-finger and walks out. “To hell with all of you,” the upright says.

Maybe the upright was wrong in the minds and eyes of his peers, but the upright feels his behavior was necessary and absolutely justifiable.

So, according to himself, upright was right, not wrong.

This exact same situation plagues the upright, and he feels like he’s constantly in this battle of good and evil and right and wrong.

After some time, the upright learns that it doesn’t matter what people think. As long as he knows he’s right, then that’s all that matters.

After some more time, with this new wisdom secured in the back of upright’s head, he begins to smarten up.

He realizes he’s good, and he realizes his enemy is bad. So, at all costs, he must maintain the high-ground. The upright must keep his cool, and not let the enemy have him spinning out of control.

And this is the point when a simple upright person asks God, “Why are things so fucking difficult?” And the upright finally realizes; there’s no way win this, instead he must overcome it.

As soon as the enemy realizes his antagonizing behavior no longer effects the upright, he moves on to someone else.

Overcoming it. Think about it.

The upright decides to do things to the enemy behind his back, in secret, and in the dark. Now, the enemy becomes so occupied with trying to figure out why things in his life are suddenly going wrong, he doesn’t have time to fuck with other people.

The upright is happy finally, he feels good, and although his behavior isn’t typical, he’s giving the enemy a taste of his own medicine. Suddenly, the pressure loosens up a bit. The upright laughs to himself, and moves on. He overcame.

There’s only one gigantic mistake the upright made. He told the person closest to him what he was doing. He revealed his secrets and how he decided to deal with the enemy.

And what do you think upright’s friend said to him?

I just want to let you know that what you’re dong isn’t right!!!!!

Well, thank you mister fucking obvious. I mean seriously, I guess my peace of mind and happiness pissed you off that much that you had to tell me I was wrong?

Haven’t I kicked enough doors in? Haven’t I endured enough? Haven’t I given enough people the finger? I can’t curse anymore to hell! Hell is full! It’s at max capacity!

I’ve dealt with enough enemies head to head to know it’s a no win situation. I’ve seen enough of them speak in agreement with me in front of me, and in the very same breadth, turn around to someone else and take the opposing side of the argument in agreement with the other.

I’ve seen them completely contradict themselves and change their views mid-sentence, literally talking out of both sides of their mouth. Literally! They play the crowd and tell everyone what they want to hear. They take no stance. They take no responsibility for what they do and say, and somehow, miraculously, it’s never them and they’re always right.

As you get older, you’ll realize how fast life passes you by. You’ll realize how valuable your time is, and little by little, you’ll start disassociating yourself, creating distance between, and spending less time with the enemy.

You’re constantly moving forward and progressing, and they’re standing still playing the same old games. The upright doesn’t want to play anymore, and the upright doesn’t want to entertain or give anymore of his valuable time or attention to someone who’s incapable of seeing the bigger picture. People change. We grow apart. That’s normal.

You like to spend your time lying, and talking about people behind their backs. You like to use your time trying to figure out how to push and antagonize people who don’t even know you exist. You spend your time perfecting deceit, manipulation, and trickery.

I’m trying to figure out how I can improve myself and how I can become a better person. I’m trying to make friends and build real quality relationships grounded in trust. I want people to know I’m accountable and dependable.

You’re caught up in ego and pride, and I let that go a long time ago.

So, in the eyes and minds of the other, the upright was wrong for making a scene and approaching this problem head-on. And the very first time the upright decided to sink down to his enemies level and enter through the back door, the other was right there again to quickly remind him he was wrong.

Well, I guess in the eyes and minds of the other, the upright is always wrong. And as long as the upright is without peace and without happiness, then he’s okay in the eyes and mind of the other.

I guess no peace and no happiness is what the upright wins for being upright. I guess upright’s life has to be a miserable debacle for walking the straight and narrow. I guess good suffers and evil triumphs?

Is that the message here?

Breaking Patterns That Break You Down

If someone keeps telling you you’re wrong, eventually, you’re going to believe you’re wrong. If someone keeps telling you you have an attitude problem, you’re going to believe you have an attitude problem. If someone keeps telling you things about you that aren’t true, you’re going to believe them even if they’re not true. It’s conditioning, and the sad part about “conditioning” of this type is that you might not believe what these people are saying about you or to you at the moment, but overtime, these comments will wear you down. Over time, they’ll break you down. Over time you’ll lose confidence in yourself, and you’ll become a timid-hesitant person.

Why?

No one wants to be wrong. No one wants to be known as the person with the attitude. You don’t want to be perceived as the trouble maker, the bully, or the person who’s always arguing.

So you change yourself to compensate for people that are really the problem.

It’s like the husband or wife who hits their partner and says, “See, look what you made me do.”

People need to take responsibility for their own actions.

Today I walked into a store to purchase a few items. I had earbuds in and a hood on. The cashier rang up my items, and then when it was time to pay, I inserted my card into the reader. Well, he made a mistake and needed me to take my card out so he could start the transaction over. During that process, he got an attitude with me and was kind of rude. He was upset because he couldn’t get my attention immediately, and I told him he needed to talk to his customers with a little more respect.

My mother, who drove me there, tells me in the car I have a problem, and I’m always arguing. She continues to tell me that if I didn’t have a hood on or earbuds in that that wouldn’t have happened.

It doesn’t matter if I had a hood on, sunglasses on, a hat on, earbuds in, and a scarf around my face, if the cashier couldn’t get my attention immediately he should’ve been patient. Eventually, probably within seconds, I would’ve taken my earbud out and looked up wondering why the transaction didn’t go through

There’s right and wrong behavior, and we all know when we’re in the right, and when we’re in the wrong. Don’t let people tell you you’re the problem because chances are it’s the person who’s telling you that that really has the problem.

How do we break patterns that break us down? By becoming aware of them, and learning from the situations in which they occur.

Eventually, you’ll learn not to go to those people who are always putting you down or telling you have a problem. Eventually, you’ll realize that you’re behavior is 99% justified because your behavior is the response to people who are either mistreating you, or abusing you.

Now, check this out. Certain people command respect. It’s their personality. It’s the energy they put out. Even if you’re having a bad day, you’ll still treat these people with respect.

Why are you different? Because somewhere along the line you’ve become timid and hesitant. At some point, you lost your confidence and you no longer put the energy out there that commands respect. You’ve become a pushover, and that’s how people treat you.

The road back to confidence starts with you complaining a lot. Every time you encounter a situation where you’re mistreated, you’ll complain, and eventually, people will say you have a problem. You’ll learn though. You’ll learn how to swiftly respond to someone who mistreats you for no other reason than they’re having a bad day. When you reach that point you’ll stop complaining.